home is where the heart is

Pictures by me and Nick Zijlstra on previous trips to Paris

I know it's no secret that Paris is my favorite city and that I'd love to go there very soon, but lately I have been feeling extremely drawn to this place. I guess you could even say that I'm a little homesick. Odd, because I was born and raised in Amsterdam, so technically that's 'home'. And in some ways it's true. Most of my friends and family live here, I found the love of my life here, I have a house - thus a home - here, I know the city inside out, I went to school here all my life, I work here, breath here, sleep here... And don't get me wrong, I love Amsterdam. But sometimes I have this very strange feeling that I'm not ment to be here. No, let me rephrase that, that I'm not ment to stay here, grow old here. And lately this feeling has been taken over. 

I daydream about waking up in my apartment, (sleep)walk to the window and see the Seine sparkle in the early sunlight. I quickly get dressed in a simple black jacket, tee and jeans and go to the nearest kiosk to get the latest issue of the French Vogue. And, while I smile to my nextdoor neighbor and mumble a tiny 'bonjour', I walk straight towards my favorite cafe. A few rays of sun gently caress my face, as I sit down on the terrace. I order a 'grande latte' and a 'pain au chocolat' and sigh. I soak up everything around me. I watch the little streets, the cars, the effortlessly dressed people, the buildings, the Eiffel Tower. Thinking about what I will do tomorrow. Go for a stroll in Jardin du Luxembourg? Go shopping at YSL and Colette? Get some macaroons at Laduree? Or just stay in and eat croissants?

And than I'm back in my room in Amsterdam. With a big sigh, I look at these pictures from previous trips to Paris. But than I smile. Because I know, if I keep dreaming about this, if I really want this, it will happen someday. Home is not where you happen to be born or where you are living now, home is where the heart is.